All I Want Is You
by skellington13
Summary: "I've called you all here today because we have a very important task to complete." Henry looked around at the assorted members of his family and his parent's friends and nodded resolutely. "It's time to get my parents back together."
1. Chapter 1

Hi, so this is my first story in a long time, please bear with me. It's Neal x Emma, based very loosely off the movie 'All I Want For Christmas' and is AU. It's set in Storybrook but there's no magic etc.

Please let me know what you think, good or bad. Reviews are always appreciated.

Enjoy!

* * *

"Hey, Snow. Looking stunning, as always."

Emma sighed at the sound of her ex husband's voice downstairs. He was almost an hour late, unsurprisingly, but she could already hear her mother's laughter and her daughter's excited voice, filling her father in on how her day was.

She looked at her reflection, fixing her earring absently as she debated going down while he was there or waiting until the kids came up to say goodbye to her. She didn't want to speak to him, but the spiteful part of her wanted him to see that she was moving on; the first of them to go on a date since the separation.

The decision was taken out of her hands by the knock on the bedroom door.

"Hey, Emma..."

His voice trailed off as his eyes slid down and then back up her body. His gaze felt like a physical touch; and suddenly she hated herself slightly for wearing the dress. Their dress. The black, silky dress he had bought her for their anniversary one year and that she had worn every anniversary since, because she loved his reaction to it, every time.

"_I got you a present."_

_Emma looked up from her make up, grinning as Neal wrapped an arm around her stomach, tugging her back to lean against his body._

"_Is it flowers?"_

"_Nope."_

"_Chocolate?"_

"_How unoriginal do you think I am? Of course not."_

"_Perfume?" _

"_You know I prefer the smell of just you." He nuzzled into her neck, placing a few open mouthed kisses down the side._

"_So what is it?" She asked, turning in his arms and wrapping hers around his neck. He picked up a bag from behind him, from one of the exclusive boutiques in town._

"_So I saw this in the window as I passed and thought of you."_

"_You thought of me in a dress?" _

"_Well, I gotta be honest with you, I thought of taking the dress off you."_

"Wow." He muttered, finally meeting his gaze. There was hurt in his eyes, swirling alongside the emotions she didn't want to read too deeply into, and she almost apologised, before hardening herself and turning away.

"Did you need something, Neal?" She asked dismissively, hoping he would fall for her casual tone and not call her out on the blush sneaking across her collarbone.

"What? I... Jesus, baby, you look beautiful." He whispered, taking a step towards her.

"Don't call me that." she snapped, turning to face him. "What do you want?"

He glared slightly, rubbing the stubble on his jaw, before sighing again.

"I was just coming to ask if you wanted to swing by the dinner tomorrow when your picking the kids up? See how it's turned out?"

She stared at him, before shaking her head and grabbing her shoes from the bed and slipping her feet into them. She could feel that heavy gaze on her legs as she buckled them and fought not to shiver.

"_Have I ever mentioned, I love your legs?"_

_Emma shivered as Neal ran calloused hands across her bare skin. _

"_I love them around my waist, over my shoulders..."_

_He dropped a kiss behind her knee and she let out a soft whimper, feeling his lip curl up in a smile at the noise._

"I don't think that's a good idea." She replied finally. "I'll pick them up at the usual spot."

"Oh, sure." He said, and she could hear the disappointment in his voice.

"Neal, what are you doing?" She asked finally, standing in front of him. In her heels, she was the same height as him and she met his eyes unflinchingly. "Why are you pushing this?"

"I just... We were friends, Emma, before we were together. Even though I've lost my place in your life, I don't want to be out of it completely."

"I'm sorry, Neal. But you should have thought about that before you decided that stupid diner was more important than family. We're their parents," She waved her hand in the general direction of the stairs. "That's it. Our conversations, our interactions... they should only revolve around them. Nothing personal. No more calling me baby, or beautiful. No more asking me to come to the diner. Just, please. Don't make this harder than it is."

She left him there, open mouthed but silent, and made her way down the stairs. Henry and Abigail were standing in the hall, their bags at their feet as the played with the wooden swords their grandfather had gotten them. Henry's was older and showing the signs of age but it was holding up perfectly well against his baby sister's shiny new one, although she could tell he wasn't putting much strength into it.

"Okay, kids, you got everything you need? Abi, you got enough books?"

"Yes mom - no wait! I have to bring another. Just in case. Tell daddy not to leave without me."

Emma watched fondly as her six year old took the stairs two at a time, barely missing her father at the top.

"Another book, princess?" Neal chuckled, following her down the hall and out of sight.

"What about you, kid? You got everything you need?"

Henry nodded, using his sword to point at the bag at his feet. Emma sighed.

"Look, Kid, I know this is hard. But it will get easier, I promise."

"How do you know?" he asked, the first words he'd spoken to her since coming home from school. "You're parents have never separated."

Emma took a deep breath and opened her mouth to scold him, but the doorbell interrupted and she sighed.

This night was not turning out like it should, she thought as she made her way to the door. She flung it open, smiling tightly at the sight of her date.

"Hey, Emma. You look great."

"Thanks, Graham. Give me a few minutes?" She asked, showing him towards the living room. He nodded and greeted her mother and father, and Emma met Mary Margaret's eye, silently asking her to keep him occupied.

"I think that's us." Neal spoke from behind her. He was too close and she jumped slightly, pulling away and ignoring his frown at the sight of Graham in the living room.

"You're going on a date with your boss?" He asked. She could hear the bitterness in his tone and threw a glare at him, making her way towards the kids.

"Alright, have fun at dad's. Behave yourselves, okay."

Abigail gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek before skipping out the door. Henry stood still to let her drop a kiss on his cheek but didn't speak before following his sister.

Emma sighed again, debating if her date was a good idea, now that her mood had soured.

Stupid Neal, and his stupid compliments, and his stupid wanting to be friends.

"Hey, it'll get easier. It has to. He can't hate us forever. I'll see you tomorrow."

Stupid Neal and his stupid always knowing what she was thinking.

She watched him leave, his broad shoulders tensing as he passed the living room area, where he called out a goodbye to her parents and received warm words in response.

Emma shook her head, taking a few deep breaths after the front door closed before walking towards the living room.

"Hey, Graham. You ready to go?"

He stood immediately, looking relieved that she had rescued him and she rolled her eyes in her father's direction. David shrugged innocently, standing to replace his sword in it's ceremonial case.

"Your dad might be insane." Graham told her as he opened the car door for her. Emma chuckled, feeling her shoulders lighten at his easy tone.

"Might be? You know, you're lucky you only got shown the sword. When I was fifteen, I had a date with Jefferson and dad challenged him to a duel. Mom had to step in and calm everyone down when his parents found out."

"Wow. And how did that date go?"

"I spent the entire night watching him glance over his shoulder for any sign of my dad and his sword. It was our first, and only, date. Alice moved to town a few weeks later and we all know how that one turned out."

Graham laughed along with her as he pulled into the only fancy restaurant in Storybrook.

"Look, I made us reservations here, and in a little place in the next town. It's up to you. You know how this town works, if we're seen together..."

Emma considered it. The vast majority of the town, as far as she could tell, were under the impression that she and Neal were simply having a rough patch, and would be back together within the year. They never hesitated to remind her of everything the two of them had been through together. Of all they had overcome, of the two beautiful children they had together.

None of them mentioned the fights, the nights she slept alone because he was too busy with his precious diner. None of them mentioned the other child, the loss she blamed on Neal, despite knowing better.

She was sick of the gently tuts, the 'oh, you'll make up' remarks that had been following her around town since she announced the separation six months ago. She was ready to move on, and she shouldn't have to hide to do it.

"No, we'll stay here." She answered finally, smiling up at him as she took his offered arm.

"I'm glad you agreed to come with me," Graham told her when they were seated. The waitress had looked at them weirdly, and Emma could practically feel the judgement rolling off the hostess, an old friend of Neal's father. Maybe staying here hadn't been a great idea, she could already feel her shoulders tensing as she gazed around the room. "Emma?"

She sighed and looked at Graham, with his messy hair and youthful face.

"I'm sorry, I zoned out for a second there. I'm glad I came too, I'm sorry I've been such a drag recently."

"Don't be silly, you're going through stuff, you can drag as much as you want." He assured her, pouring a glass of wine for them both. "You know you can talk to me right? If you need to."

"Thanks." she smiled tightly, trying not to catch the eye of Archie. Henry's old therapist was with Dr Whale, Thomas and Ella at a table in the corner and he was staring at her, willing her to meet his eye. He had wanted her and Neal to come in for joint counselling before they announced the separation, and she had ignored his, and Neal's, requests. Since then, she'd been trying to ignore him as much as possible, not wanting to hear his disappointed, knowing voice when he asked her how she was doing.

"So, Neal didn't sound too happy to see me earlier. I take it you didn't tell him you were going on a date with me."

Emma glanced up at him, sighing as she downed her glass and held it out for a refill.

"I didn't tell him I had a date at all. Not really any of his business, is it?"

"I guess not. Sorry, we don't have to talk about him. So, how was your day?"

Emma laughed at his nervous voice. "Graham, we spent the day together, remember? Fight between Leroy and Whale at the market? Then the domestic over on Witch Lane? Then we had lunch, and then we chased the kids out of the forest. We only separated two hours ago."

He was blushing, the red blooming across his pale cheeks and creating a pleasing affect as she watched.

"Relax, Graham, this isn't your first date, right?" She teased. He grinned at her, meeting her eyes.

"Of course not, but it's my first with you."

"And you never forget your first, do you mate? Hello, Swan, looking as delectable as ever."

Emma rolled her eyes at the lilting voice, turning to glare at the interruption.

"Hook, can we help you with something?" She asked coolly.

"I'm here on a date, my lovely, and I happened to see you in that dress and, silly me, assumed that you were with Neal. Your husband." Killian drawled, grinning at the flash of anger in her face.

"My ex husband, you mean?" She bit back.

"Semantics. So, first date, how's it going? Have you had the ex talk yet?"

"Listen, maybe you should concern yourself with your own date, and keep your nose out of mine." Emma snapped. "Did he put you up to this?"

"Emma, maybe we should go..."

"No, Graham. We came here for food, and I'm hungry. Hook was just leaving."

"I can take a hint, but really Swan, if you were planning on moving on already, you could have at least had the decency to do so with me..."

He sauntered away, leaving Emma even tenser than before, and she downed her second glass of wine even quicker than the first.

"More wine, please." She muttered. "I think we might need another bottle."

She ignored the concern on his face and kept drinking.


	2. Chapter 2

This is the second chapter. It's pretty long, but it sort of reveals what happened between the two and how they got to where they are now.

I don't own any characters/names/places you recognise.

Italics are flashbacks, almost every chapter will have them. I want to explore their relationship before and after the separation while carrying on the story.

Please let me know what you think

* * *

"Daddy, can I help Ruby clear the tables?" Abi asked as she ducked under his arm. Neal grinned and nodded, shuffling their bags around in his arms.

"Sure, sweetheart. But you listen to Ruby when she tells you to do something, okay? Don't think waitressing is just like in your books."

"Well, obviously, daddy." She rolled her eyes at him and he chuckled as she skipped towards the counter.

"Hey, Abigail. How's it going?" Ruby, the head waitress in the diner, sat down the ketchup she was refilling and lifted Abi off her feet.

"I'm good, how are you?" Abi answered politely and Neal chuckled again. She was so much like her maternal grandmother, right down to the prim and proper voice she spoke with.

"I'm great, little Snow. You here to help out?"

Neal turned his attention to his son, watching as Henry trudged his way across the diner towards the door that led to the upstairs apartment. He waited until Abi was distracted before grabbing Ruby's arm and pulling her to the side.

"Listen, you okay down here? I'm going to see if I can get Henry to talk to me. Snow said he hasn't been himself all week, not speaking to Emma or anyone else."

"We'll be fine." Ruby told him. "So, how was Emma?"

"She was on a date. With the Sheriff."

"Oh, Neal, sweetie, I'm sorry." Ruby gave him a sympathetic look. "Did she at least agree to come see the diner tomorrow?"

He shook his head, remembering the cold look in her eye as she'd told him to stop trying.

Why didn't she understand that he'd never stop trying, not while there was even the slightest chance he could get her back. He'd try until he was dead.

There was no other option, because she was the only one for him.

"She'll come around. She'd never seriously go for Graham, he's too straight-laced and boring for her." Ruby assured him. "Just give her time."

"It's been six months, Red. How much more time do I have to give?"

"Patience, grasshopper." She smiled. "Now, go see your son."

Neal sighed, making his way to the coffee machine and half heartedly began steaming the milk, trying to ignore the image of his wife with another man. In their anniversary dress.

He remembered all the anniversaries she'd worn the dress. Always with heels, sometimes she wore her hair up and he had easy access to her neck and throat. Sometime she wore it down, and he could tangle it in his fingers as he held her in place to kiss her. Sometimes she wore stockings, complete with garter belt, and would tell him while at dinner, whispering it in his ear just to see him tense up and suffer through the rest of the meal.

His wife was a tease, but he loved her for it.

He hated the thought of her out with someone else, whispering in their ear about the type of lingerie she was wearing, letting them run their hands up her legs.

He broke out of his stupor when he set the cup down too hard on the counter and it smashed with a delicate tinkle.

"Shit." He groaned, grabbing the milk off the steamer and setting it to the side before grabbing a brush.

"Daddy! No cursing." Abi called from across the counter, giving him her sternest look.

"Sorry, sweetheart." He smiled. At least one member of his family seemed unaffected by everything. Abi nodded at his apology, turning on her heel and making her way back towards Ruby, leaving Neal to return to his task.

He had discovered, when he was eight years old and Emma was seven, that nothing cheered her up like hot chocolate with cream and cinnamon. During her first pregnancy, she had inhaled the stuff and he got used to waking in the middle of the night to the sound of her fixing a cup.

* * *

"_What are you doing?"_

_Emma looked up guiltily, licking the cream off her finger. _

"_I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." _

_He shuffled into the kitchen, yawning as he made his way towards her. _

"_It's cool. What are you making?"_

"_Hot chocolate. You want some?"_

"_No, I'm good."_

_He wrapped an arm around her as she turned back to the stove, his hand resting on her swollen stomach as he breathed in the scent of her recently washed hair. _

_She suited pregnancy, his Emma. Although they'd had a rough start, with her only being eighteen and it being completely unplanned, with him dropping out of college to help her and the ensuring fight with his father, everything was falling into place, in time for the baby to be born._

_He'd moved in with Emma and her parents, the Swan's gracefully giving up a wing of the house for their personal use, although Neal could see David's eye twitching every time he touched Emma in their eye line. _

_Emma had gotten used to the idea that she would have to defer college for a few years, and although she had protested when she heard he'd dropped out, he knew she appreciated that he was here with her. _

"_Have you thought any more about names?" He asked softly, not releasing her as she poured her drink and added cream and cinnamon. Lots of cinnamon. _

"_Not really. I want to see them first, you know. Decide what they look like." She allowed him to lead her back to their bedroom, sliding onto the bed and sighing as he climbed in next to her, resting his head on her chest and stroking her stomach._

"_It's definitely a boy." _

"_You're crazy." She laughed._

"_I might be crazy, but it's definitely a boy."_

_She took a sip of hot chocolate, the sweetness instantly satisfying the craving she had woke up with, and sighed in contentment, tangling her fingers in his messy hair as he sang softly to the bump._

* * *

He had learned to master the drink for Emma before he hit sixteen, and when the kids arrived, he learned to make adjustments.

He knew the exact ratio of cinnamon to cream that Henry preferred, and he fixed it absent-mindedly as he wondered how to broach the subject of what was bothering him.

He lifted the two cups easily, hot chocolate for Henry and coffee for himself. He didn't want to sleep tonight, not when he knew he would be tortured with visions of Emma and Graham.

Henry was in his room when he reached the loft, lying on the still made bed and throwing a soft ball at the ceiling, catching it as it fell again.

"Hey, buddy, I brought you a hot chocolate."

Neal sat it on the bedside table and settled himself into the armchair in the corner, staying silent.

He lasted five minutes, before sighing and rubbing his face with both hands.

"You wanna tell me what's going on?"

"I knew you'd crack first." Henry replied calmly. "You're so impatient."

"And you got your mother's stubbornness, no way could I out wait that." Neal told him. "So, we going to talk or what?"

"About what?"

"About whatever it is that has you so quiet. You didn't even say hello to Ruby."

Henry fell silent again, before sighing and pushing himself up,

"Are you and mom going to get a divorce?"

Neal took a deep breath, rubbing his face again. "Henry, you know we're separated..."

"Separated isn't divorced. Separated can be reconciled." Henry pointed out heatedly. "Why can't you just apologise to her?"

It was murky water, Neal knew. He didn't want to paint either of them in a negative light, but especially not Emma. He was willing to take the brunt of the blame because he knew he deserved it.

He had gotten so caught up in buying the diner from Ruby's grandmother and re-doing it so that it was back to its former glory; so it looked like the diner he and Emma used to go on dates to in high school. He hadn't meant to, but somehow he underestimated the amount of work involved, and before he knew it he was leaving early in the mornings and coming home later each night; in way over his head and struggling to finish every little task.

They fought over it. He began showing up late to family parties, and school events and she would glare at him and ignore him, barely letting him touch her when he eventually crawled in next to her. He didn't mean to do it, but the more he thought of them fighting, the further he threw himself into the work and the vicious circle continued.

Then there was the fight.

Emma had found out she was pregnant, and had planned a dinner to tell him. She'd gotten Regina to babysit the kids, and had cooked his favourite meal. He was over an hour late, having been held back by Leroy for something so unimportant he couldn't even remember it now, and when he'd arrived Emma had already cleared the table and gone to bed.

* * *

"_Emma? Baby, I'm so sorry. Leroy needed me to-"_

"_I don't care." She didn't move from where she was lying on the bed, a hand resting over her stomach as she stared up at the ceiling. "I really, really don't care. I'm not sure why I even bothered, to be honest. I should have just left a message with Ruby, I'm sure you would have gotten that."_

"_That's not fair." Neal sighed, sitting on the bed next to her. "I'm trying to apologise."_

"_Yeah. Like you apologised for being late to Belle's book launch. Like you apologised for being late to both of Henry's games, like when you were late to Abi's recital, when you were late to pick her up from Killian's. One dinner, Neal. I'm not sure if you've noticed, but it's all I've asked for in weeks and you couldn't drag yourself away."_

"_Emma, come on." He reached over to take her hand, not sure what to say to justify himself. _

_He knew she was right, he had messed up lately and he had no real excuse for it. He wanted the diner. He wanted it to be the place he remembered from before he left for college, the place they had their first date when she was fifteen, and their last date before he left. The place she told him she was pregnant for the first time, wide-eyed and scared and looking so beautiful and young, and determined to keep the baby despite everyone's opinion._

"_I'm pregnant." She told him suddenly, pushing herself to her feet. "Twelve weeks. I found out two weeks ago."_

_He was stunned, staring at her emotionless face as she paced back and forth, arms crossed over her chest. Then he was angry, and he pushed himself up to face her. _

"_And you're only telling me now? Jesus, Emma, you're still working! Don't you think it's time to lay off the chasing criminals thing, until you give birth?"_

_He knew he was shouting, but he couldn't help himself. _

"_Don't yell at me." She snapped in reply. "Have I seen you for more than a few minutes at a time in the last fortnight? When we weren't surrounded by other people? Was I supposed to blab it out in front of them all? And don't you stand there and act high and mighty with me. I've done this dance before, I know how to look after myself when pregnant."_

"_Jesus, Emma, you couldn't have called? I know I've been busy, okay, I get that. But if you had called and said it was important, I would have been here in minutes."_

"_Of course... unless someone needed your help with what colour to pain the toilets in the diner."_

"_Why are you so against this? Do you really want to live here for the rest of our lives? Three generations living under one roof? It's like a war story. And now another on the way?"_

"_Don't be ridiculous, this is the biggest house in town. And you know what, I was all for you buying the diner. Did you forget who convinced your father to sign off on your loan because you were too proud to fucking ask? Who went with you to every meeting? I just didn't realise that getting the stupid place meant loosing my husband."_

_They were both shouting now, barely noticing the knock on the door until Mary Margaret stuck her head around._

"_Guys, I get that you're both upset but- Oh my God, Emma?"_

_Neal swung around, feeling his heart stop as Emma cried out in pain, clutching her arms around her middle. _

"_Baby, what's wrong? Emma, talk to me." He murmured softly, wrapping an arm around her back. She rested against him easily, her tears soaking through his shirt as she rested her head against his shoulder. _

"_Neal, it hurts. So bad. Jesus, I need a doctor. Please."_

* * *

She had lost the baby. Dr Whale had explained that there were complications that should have been picked up on during her first visit; had they been they could have sent her to a specialist in the city and maybe they would have caught it on time.

She had been heartbroken, sobbing into her mother's arms and stubbornly refusing to allow him to comfort her, to mourn with her.

She blamed him, for being late and starting a fight. He knew, deep down, that she knew it was no one's fault. It was a tragedy, and he hated watching her hurt and not being allowed to help and he tried, constantly, to get her to open up to him. It didn't help that the diner was going into its final stage, and even if he wasn't on site, he was constantly on the phone to Ruby and Leroy, and every time she saw him, Emma would tut in disgust and leave the room.

He had still been stunned when she told him she wanted to separate, though. In a quiet, determined voice, she had told him she couldn't do it any more, that it hurt too much to watch him continue to throw all his energy and efforts into the diner, when it was what had caused the problems in the first place.

He had begged. Swore that the diner meant nothing to him compared to her and the kids. She had continually ignored him, simply asking him to leave her alone.

But it was August who did the most damage, Neal was sure of it.

He had blown back into town a few days after Emma had announced she wanted a separation. Neal was still refusing, and August convinced him to go to a bar after work with him and Killian.

* * *

"_So, how are things?" August took a long gulp of beer, sighing appreciatively. _

"_You're kidding, right? My wife hates me and wants a divorce." Neal reminded him bitterly. _

"_Easy, mate. A separation isn't a divorce." Killian reminded him, knocking an extra shot of rum into his glass from the ornate hip flask he carried around with him. "Swan will come around."_

"_I leave town for a few months and the whole place goes to hell." August muttered. "Dad filled me in, though. I'm sorry, man."_

_Neal acknowledged his friend by downing his whiskey, taking pleasure in the painful burn it left in his throat. _

"_Can I give you my opinion?" August asked after a few minutes silence._

_Neal shrugged. "Why not, everyone else has."_

"_Give her what she wants." August replied. _

"_Separate, you mean?" Killian asked softly. Neal recognised the dangerous steel underneath the softness and looked from one friend to the other._

"_Yeah." August nodded, not paying Killian any attention. He didn't like being ignored, and suddenly began tapping his fingers on the table. _

"_That's ridiculous."_

"_No, listen. You guys have been fighting over the diner, right? What makes you think that's going to change any time soon? You can't give the diner up, where would you get the money to pay your dad and Emma's dad back? You'd be breaking Ruby and Granny's hearts and depriving everyone in town of the diner they've missed for so long, and you would have financially ruined you and Emma."_

"_August, I don't give a damn about Ruby and Granny and this town. If it makes my wife look me in the eye again, I'll burn the place to the ground." Neal told him. _

"_But what about the money, huh? And you say you don't care now, but when Emma's talking to you again? When you guys sort everything out and you have to walk past Granny in the street again... you'll hate yourself for disappointing her. I know you, Neal. You have a huge hero complex, you'd never forgive yourself and you might end up resenting Emma for making you."_

"_Does this have a point, mate?"_

"_I'm just saying. I think you should agree to separate, at least until the diner is finished. The more you concentrate on it, the quicker it will be done and you can concentrate on Emma and the kids again, at being a proper family again." _

_There was silence at the table._

"_I repeat, that's ridiculous. And cowardly." Killian growled. "Give up your wife and family for some silly restaurant? Hoping that while you concentrate on that, Swan will calm down and remember why she married you? It's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I won't let you do it, mate."_

"_He's not giving anything up." August argued. "Emma needs time, and space. She can't get it with you constantly refusing to leave her alone. Use the diner to prove yourself to her..."_

"_Prove what? That he cares more about it than her? Isn't that the problem in the first place?" _

_Neal listened to them fighting, hearing some of the conversation but missing most of it._

_The diner was almost finished. A few more weeks and it would be ready for the grand opening... maybe August was right. Maybe he should let her think he was okay with the separation. When the diner was done, when his brain could finally catch up with everything, he could start fighting. _

"_All I'm saying, is that Emma deserves more than someone only half fighting. And while the diner's incomplete, that's what she's getting." _

"_You're actually considering listening to him." Killian sounded disgusted as they walked home that night. _

"_Maybe he's right.. The diner's almost done, Hook, and then I can give all my attention back to Emma. I mean, maybe it was a mistake to buy the place, to do it back up but that's done now. It's almost over and August is right about her deserving more..."_

"_Swan is an astounding woman, she deserves the world. But you're taking the easy way out here, Neal. You're going to hide behind your diner in the hopes that she will miss you while you're not there and it will make your task easier when you are done. You should be fighting for your marriage now. From the moment she announced this silly separation, you should have been fighting. A man unwilling to fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets. Mark my word, Neal. You will regret this."_

* * *

And he had. He'd been regretting it every second since he told Emma he would agree to a trial separation and she started packing his bags for him.

"Dad?" Henry's unsure voice pulled him back to the present and he sighed.

"Henry, I love your mom. I will love her for the rest of my life, but I can't force her to be with me if she isn't happy."

"But she isn't happy now, either. She pretends; she laughs at jokes and smiles and dances with Abi but she has sad eyes, dad. And she cries at night, sometimes. You have to make up, please."

"Henry, buddy, please don't make me promise something I can't guarantee to deliver." Neal murmured, taking his son's hand.

Henry breathed angrily, turning away from him.

"So you're both going to make us miserable, while you hide from each other for the rest of our lives? How is that fair?"

Neal had no answer for him as he stormed out.


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own any recognisable characters. Please read and review

* * *

"So, I heard you had a date last night."

Emma groaned, tucking her head beneath her pillow in an attempt to drown out her best friend's voice.

"You know that won't work." Regina commented, dragging the pillow off her head and tossing it to the bottom of the bed. She held two cups of coffee in one hand, offering one to Emma before settling herself next to her in the bed, her bright red pumps a stark contrast to the white duvet.

"You know I had a date last night. I told you about it last week." Emma finally responded, taking a sip of the coffee and sitting up.

"And how did it go?"

"Are you going to do that thing where you psychoanalyse every answer I give you?" Emma asked sullenly.

"As if I have the time or patience for that. I'm a busy woman, Emma Swan. You know that."

Regina and Emma had started off as early enemies in school. Emma was the blonde haired, sweet, cheerful toddler who naturally attracted people to her while Regina was dark haired, sulky and found it difficult to make friends.

They didn't start liking each other until late in middle school, when Emma had over heard her mother talking about how difficult Regina's mother was, and her hard her home life must be. Emma had started, out of nosiness to begin with, to try to get to know the quieter girl, and had eventually realised how much they had in common, and how funny and loyal Regina could be.

Her mother, Cora, was a lawyer who worked in the city; smart, ambitious and a complete bitch as far as Emma was concerned. She was constantly belittling Regina, pushing her too hard and telling her she wasn't good enough when she didn't achieve the results Cora expected.

As Regina and Emma grew closer, Regina started spending more time at her place and the two quickly became best friends.

Emma was stubborn and headstrong, protective of those she loved and still had that natural pull to her that attracted people towards her and Regina was still rude and sullen, as ambitious as her mother but rarely as negative or nasty. She still found it hard to make friends but she had Emma and Daniel, and really she didn't need many more than that.

"It was terrible." Emma moaned, dropping a head onto Regina's shoulder. "I drank too much wine."

"How much is too much?"

"Well, we ordered two bottles. Graham had maybe three glasses and I drank the rest. And you know I don't even like wine." Emma said pitifully and Regina laughed, the loud, clear sound making Emma wince as it reverberated through her aching head.

"Did you sleep with him?"

"God no. I woke up this morning in bed, fully clothed and with a horrible taste in my mouth. I think I must have spent at least part of last night vomiting that wine back up."

"Charming." Regina chuckled again.

Emma sighed, sitting up and taking another drink of coffee. The hot liquid soothed her nerves slightly, and she turned so that she was facing Regina, tucking one leg under the other.

"It was a mistake. I never should have agreed to it." She admitted. "We ran into Killian and he was, naturally, an asshole. Then Whale stopped by the table and he was, also naturally, an even bigger asshole. So I just kept drinking, to try and block out the judgemental looks from everyone in the restaurant. Poor Graham must have been so embarrassed."

"Yes, well, poor Graham really should have known better. Emma, I've told you before, you're not ready to date."

"It's been almost seven months, and the pain in my chest isn't getting any better." Emma took a deep breath, turning large, vulnerable eyes towards her. "It's just as bad now as it was then, so why shouldn't I just try to live with it? Maybe, if I'm not alone anymore, it won't be so bad."

"Emma, you're not alone. Even if you continue to be stubborn and bull headed and completely ignore the fact that you're still in love with Neal, you have me and your parents. The kids. Your friends. "

"Please stop saying I'm still in love with Neal." Emma sighed.

"Emma, the separation was a mistake. I told you that then and I'm telling you now. It was a stupid thing to do and I hate that I couldn't talk you out of it. Regardless of that, though, seven months is not enough time to get over a relationship that lasted over fifteen years. And it's not enough time to get over the baby."

* * *

"_I think me and Neal should separate." _

_Regina looked up from the paperwork she was completing, frowning as Emma sat down facing her. _

"_What on earth are you talking about?" _

"_I can't do it anymore, Regina. Every time I work up the nerve to talk to him, he's on his damn phone with Ruby."_

"_Emma, you know nothing is going on with Neal and Ruby, right? First off, she's almost ten years older than him. Secondly, the man hasn't had eyes for anyone other than you since you knocked out his prom date."_

_Emma smiled softly. "Tamara was cheating on him with creepy Greg. I told everyone, not my fault they refused to believe me."_

"_Because you sounded like the jealous ex that you were." Regina chuckled. "Although I don't know why you were so worried, you got to go to the prom with Killian. You were the envy of every other girl there."_

"_Except you, of course."_

"_Of course, but I had Daniel. The only person I would even consider being jealous of was myself."_

_Regina counted it as a victory when Emma laughed. The blonde had lost too much weight, her clothes were hanging off her frame slightly, and her face was pale and lifeless. She had barely heard her laugh in weeks, not since she'd gotten the call about her loosing the baby. _

"_You'll regret separating, Emma. You know you will."_

"_Maybe we're not as meant to be as everyone seems to think." Emma argued sadly. "Maybe it would be better to just get out now, before we get any more entangled."_

"_Entangled? Emma Swan, you have two children with the man, you're already entangled."_

"_I don't want to hate him Regina." Emma told her quietly. "And I almost do. I hear him laughing on his phone, and I want to bash his head in with something. And for the kids sake, I don't want this feeling to get any worse. I don't want to wake up next week, unable to stand the sight of the father of my children. It's like, I know nothing is going on between him and Ruby, but I couldn't even look at her when she came to see mom yesterday, and when Neal came in and they started talking, I wanted to cry. I just wanted to sit there and sob, because he spends so much more time with her than with me and I don't understand why. She's practically my aunt, and I love her, but I can barely stand the sight of her."_

_Regina listened calmly. "Emma, maybe you should see Archie."_

"_I don't need therapy."_

"_There's nothing wrong with therapy, I went for years to get over my mother issues. It helped Henry. Just consider it, please. For me. I hate seeing you like this."_

_Emma sighed again but didn't answer and Regina knew that was a no._

"_He loves you." Regina reminded her. "He won't let you go without a fight."_

* * *

He had let her go without a fight; or at least not much of one. Emma knew, through Killian, that August had convinced him to give her space and that had made her anger towards him turn into hatred. No, hatred was the wrong word. She had stopped hating him almost as soon as she had started but there was a deep resentment in her heart towards him, and she didn't know how to release it.

August had had a crush on her since they were kids and Neal knew it. August had never given him good advice in regards to their relationship, but Neal continued to take it.

Emma knew that Killian had tried to convince him otherwise. As a mutual friend of both, since middle school when he transferred from Ireland, Killian had done everything he could think of to stop the separation. He had called Neal a coward, a weak point of his since the incident in high school when Emma had been briefly suspended for something Neal had done, and he had told Emma she was being a spoilt, selfish child. He never pulled his punches and mostly Emma appreciated that but she hadn't quite forgiven him for implying that the separation was mostly her fault.

"So where are the kids?" Regina asked, to break the sudden silence. Emma started slightly, coming out of her thoughts.

"They stayed with Neal last night."

"At the loft?"

"Yeah, I guess. He asked me to come by and see the place."

Regina looked at her. She knew how sore a subject the diner was with her, and she had noticed her not so subtly attempts to avoid it. As far as she could tell, Emma hadn't set foot in the place since it had opened four months ago, despite numerous attempts by Neal.

Regina had been in the diner, and had been shocked, and slightly charmed she had to admit, by how much it looked like it had when they were younger. Neal had somehow managed to even find the exact colour of green the walls had been painted when they were in high school, and he had put pictures of them all on the wall around their regular booth.

She hadn't seen the loft, but Henry and Abi had spent hours gushing about it after the first time they had stayed over, so she could only imagine how it looked.

She knew if Emma went to the diner she'd have the same reaction. She'd like the personal touches; the handwritten menus and mismatched crockery. She'd like the photo of herself as prom queen, on Killian's arm. It had come from Neal's own collection, she knew, because there were devil horns and a moustache drawn on the Irishman's face.

"You can't avoid it forever, you know. Eventually, the kids are going to want you to see the place."

"I've managed to deflect them so far." Emma smiled. "They're kids, it's easy to entice them to the city when they bring it up."

"They'll get bored of that eventually though." Regina warned. "You have to be prepared for that."

"Please don't lecture me right now." Emma moaned, her stomach rolling unpleasantly. "All I can concentrate on is the fact that I have to pick them up soon and I don't even think my hands are steady enough to drive. And Henry isn't speaking to me, and I don't know why, and I have to face Graham in the morning. What the hell am I going to say to him?"

"The truth." Regina told her bluntly. "You're not ready. Plus, it's a huge mistake to date with co-workers. Now, I'll pick up the kids and take them to my place. Daniel should be home from his trip, we'll take them for dinner and a movie and then drop them home later."

"Regina, you don't have to do that. You've barely had any time with Daniel since he took on those clients, you shouldn't have to spend your date night babysit my kids. I'll be fine, I'll just walk to get them."

"Don't be silly, it's been ages since I've seen them. Take the day to relax, Emma. Have a bath, read a book or something. Just call Neal and tell him I'll be the one picking them up, okay?"

Regina stood to leave, and Emma forced herself to her knees on the bed.

"Thank you." She told her. "Seriously, I don't know what I would do without you."

"I know." Regina assured her, before dropping a kiss on her cheek and leaving.

Emma forced herself out of bed, stretching and groaning as her stomach rolled again.

A bath sounded like a great idea, and she headed towards her bathroom.

After leaving the water to run, she picked up her phone, frowning at the sight of a message from Graham, asking her how she felt. Putting it out of her mind, she dialled Neal's number, moving around the room to gather clothes and a book to read in the bath.

"Emma? Is everything okay?" Neal asked in greeting and she frowned.

"Everything's fine, why wouldn't it be?"

"It's just, you don't really call any more." His voice was soft, and not at all accusing, but she felt bad anyway.

"Oh, right. I, uh, I'm just calling to let you know Regina will pick the kids up later. She's taking them to dinner and a movie."

"Okay, cool. I, um, I talked to Henry last night."

Emma felt her heart stutter slightly in her chest, and set down on the bed.

"How did it go?"

"Not great. I think I made him even angrier at us." Neal admitted.

"Did he say why he was so upset?"

Neal was silent for a few seconds and she checked the screen of the phone to make sure they were still connected.

"Neal?"

"Yeah, uh, sorry. He's not happy about the separation. He thinks we're heading for divorce."

Emma sighed, closing her eyes. She knew Henry wasn't happy, but he'd never been sullen or angry about it before this week.

"Did he tell you if anything happened this week? Did someone say something to him at school? His silent treatment only started on Tuesday."

"He didn't say, and I never got a chance to ask. He stormed out of his room and wouldn't speak to me for the rest of the night. I think... I think, maybe we need to talk about this."

"I don't want to." She replied before she could stop. She winced at how needy she sounded.

"You think I do? I'm waiting on the day I get a packet of divorce papers in the mail and its slowly killing me." He spoke angrily. "But we can't jerk the kids about. We have to decide on the future, baby."

"Don't call me that." She said tiredly.

"Sorry." She knew he wasn't and they sat in silence for a few minutes.

Emma stood, making her way to the bath and twisting the taps off.

"Give me a month to think of the best thing to do for the kids." She finally spoke. She heard his sigh, and could practically picture him rubbing his face with his hand.

"I don't want you to just do what's best for the kids, Emma. I want you to decide what you want as well."

"Neal, please don't, okay? The kids are what's important, not what we want."

He was silent again before he sighed.

"Yeah, okay." He agreed.

"Well, I should go." She said awkwardly.

"Okay. I'll see you later, I guess."

She cursed when she hung up, throwing the phone on the bed and stripping out of the dress before climbing into the hot water.

She was a walking mess of contradictions. She genuinely didn't know what to feel about everything that had happened, and she went from happy to miserable in the blink of an eye.

Sometimes, all she wanted was Neal. She wanted him beside her, his arm wrapped around her shoulder as he described his day to her; going into every detail as if it was the most important thing in the world and using his face to express each emotion and reaction.

Then she would remember the irritation she felt as he described the diner's progress to her, going into every thing Ruby had said to him, every comment Leroy had made about how it used to look. She remembered as he slowly stopped asking for her opinion, turning to everyone else instead, asking her parents what they thought over dinner, asking the kids over breakfast.

And she remembered how little she seen him in the two months before the miscarriage. She remembered the anger and embarrassment she had felt at being left standing outside Abi's recital for a half hour because he had forgotten to lift his ticket. But then she would remember how concerned he looked as they rushed to the hospital that night, how tight his grip had been on her hand and how soft his voice had been in her ear.

She remembered the hurt in his eyes as she turned away from him, collapsing in her mother's arms because she just couldn't bear him touching her.

The thoughts came and went so quickly sometimes that it was difficult for her to know what she actually wanted.

She rested her head against the foot of the bath, allowing her tense muscles to relax in the hot water.

She had one month to decide and she knew that after that month, she couldn't go back on her decision.

He was right, it wasn't fair to keep the kids in a limbo, and she had to decide if she wanted to make the separation final. Permanent. Because once divorce papers were drawn up, she didn't think she would back out of them.

So, she had one month. And she didn't think it was going to be anywhere near enough time.


	4. Interlude 1

As the chapter title suggests, this is just a quick interlude to set up the rest of the story.

Also, this is a small plea for people's reviews. I can see people adding me to favourite and watching the story and I'd love your opinion on how you think it's going, good or bad. So please let me know what you think. Thanks.

As always, I don't own any characters.

* * *

"Hey Henry."

Henry looked up from his sundae glass, his frown melting into a smile at the sight of Grace and Alice.

"Hi! When did you get back from the city?" He asked after Alice had waved goodbye. Grace's tiny blonde mother practically skipped to where her husband was waiting and Henry waved at Jefferson as Grace sat down across from him.

"Yesterday. I missed everyone." Grace smiled shyly at him and he felt his grin widen even more.

She had gotten prettier, he decided. She had been the prettiest in school before leaving for boarding school, but she looked even better now.

"Did you have a good time?" He asked. She shrugged.

"It was okay, I guess. I made some friends but I missed our class, you know."

Henry nodded as if he understood, even though he'd been in the same class since preschool and had never had the opportunity to miss them.

Except Grace.

"So, daddy told me your parents had separated. I'm sorry."

Her voice was soft and Henry frowned again, shrugged sadly.

"Yeah."

They were silent for a few minutes, Henry swirling his ice cream with a spoon as Grace watched him.

"So what are we going to do about it?" She asked suddenly.

Henry looked up at her, grinning wildly. This was what he had missed about her the most.

Grace was his best friend, always eager to join in on his plans without question.

"I've tried, but they won't listen. I tried not talking to them, but it just made my mom sad and I had to stop. They're both in the city today, but no matter how much I tried, I couldn't get them to carpool." He explained. "Mom won't come to the diner to see it and dad, and dad just looks so sad every time he sees her."

"Okay. First things first, are we sure it's a good idea to interfere?"

"Hey, it was your idea!" He reminded her. She giggled.

"I know, but I just want to make sure. This could be pretty serious, you know."

"Not all parents who have split up should get back together," Henry told her. "But mine should. They still love each other, they just won't admit it."

"But how are we going to get them to admit it?" She asked.

"I think we need help." Henry admitted.

"What should we call it?"

"Operation Swan." Henry told her decisively.

"Simple, to the point." Grace smiled. "I like it."

Henry watched as his family settled around the large table in the diner. Both sets of grandparents were here, Belle and Mary Margaret chatting about a new book they had both read and sipping tea, while Mr Gold and David talked about the news. Mulan and Aurora were pouring over a magazine, pointing things out to one another and giggling. Henry had never seen Mulan giggle before, and he watched for a few minutes as Aurora whispered something in her ear and she did it again.

Ruby was behind the counter, the only one they were still waiting on. Killian was resting against the wall, playing with his phone and occasionally winking at the new waitress that passed by. He had refused to show up until Henry explained what was going on, but he had agreed to help immediately, telling Henry he was the only one in the family with any sense.

Regina had told him she couldn't make it, reminding him that she was mayor and too busy for match making schemes. He knew she would help, though. She always sounded strict, but she was his god mother and a big softie whenever there was no one else around. And she wanted to see his parents back together as much as he did, Henry had heard her telling Daniel about it when he had stayed over.

He had wanted to invite August, but Killian had told him not to. He wouldn't explain why, but Henry knew that Killian was his dad's best friend and one of his mom's best friends and if he said it was a bad idea, it probably was.

Grace was beside him, swinging her legs as she sipped her milk shake and nudging him every time Killian winked.

When Ruby finally joined them, Henry cleared his throat to get attention. As all their eyes swung around to face him, he felt nervous.

""I've called you all here today because we have a very important task to complete." Henry looked around at the assorted members of his family and his parent's friends and nodded resolutely. "It's time to get my parents back together."


	5. Chapter 4

I don't own the characters you recognise.

* * *

"I don't think we're going to catch these guys tonight."

Emma sighed, looking up from notes she was reading and meeting Graham's grim look.

They had been at it for hours, watching the abandoned battery factory for any sign of the three people they suspected of six robberies.

"I guess you're right." She hid a yawn behind her hand, glancing at the clock. "I can't believe it's only two AM. I feel like I've been here way longer."

"And people think cop work is so exciting." Graham chuckled.

Emma smiled at him, handing him the file she had closed.

Things hadn't been as awkward as she had expected between them since the disaster of a date. He had accepted her apology with a wry smile, and admitted that he had probably made a mistake in asking, when it was pretty clear she wasn't ready to move on yet.

She had bristled slightly, before realising he was probably right. She wasn't ready to move on and she shouldn't be forcing herself to. She had been dating Neal since she was sixteen and had been in love with him since she was old enough to know what it meant. With the exception of their short break up during his last year in school, they had been together through everything, good or bad.

She wasn't sure if she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, but she wasn't quite ready to let someone else step into his place yet.

Once she had come to that realisation, she had felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

"I'll drop you home, okay?"

Emma nodded, yawning again just as her phone lit up. Neal's name flashed across the screen and she felt her heart constrict.

"Neal? What's wrong?"

"Emma, I'm sorry for calling so late. Abi's not well, she's locked herself in the bathroom and she won't come out."

Neal sounded frazzled, his voice a higher pitch than normal and she frowned.

"What kind of not well?" She asked.

"She's hot. And I can hear her throwing up but she won't let me in. She wants you. I'm sorry, I tried not to call."

"No, it's fine. Of course it's fine. I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Okay. If you come around the side of the diner, there's a green door. Buzz and I'll let you in. Thanks, Emma."

"I'll see you soon. Try to get her to drink some water." Emma instructed him before hanging up. She turned to Graham and frowned.

"Can you drop me off at the diner instead?"

"Of course."

It didn't take long to reach the diner, and Emma spent the short trip biting her nails, wondering what was wrong with her daughter.

Abi had been fine when she had left home that evening, smiling and dancing across the hall as she teased Henry about his crush on Grace. She wasn't prone to illness, none of them were thankfully, and Emma couldn't think of a single time she'd been ill with anything other than a cold since she was a toddler.

"Thanks Graham. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Hey, it's already late. Just take the day off and make sure Abi's okay." Graham told her. "Good night."

Emma thanked him, before rushing around the side of the building she had been avoiding for months. Sure enough, there was a bright green door set into the brick, and a shiny silver intercom hidden in the shadow. She had barely touched the button before she heard the release of a lock and she pushed the door open.

She stepped into a long hallway, she could see the dark diner through a door facing her, and to her right was a set of stairs. Neal stood at the top of them, looking down at her with a frown.

"I didn't think you'd be so quick." He murmured as she walked towards him.

He was dressed, she noticed. His jeans hadn't been fully buttoned and she could see the checked material of his boxers, and his vest was wrinkled and inside out. He was barefoot and she assumed he'd only thrown on the clothes on her behalf. She couldn't decide if she was grateful or disappointed but she told herself to get over it and concentrate on her daughter, not on how long it had been since she'd last had sex with her husband.

"I was on a stake out about ten minutes away. Graham dropped me off." She told him, allowing him to lead her into the apartment.

Curiosity burned inside her but she refused to look around. She didn't want to see the place he had insisted was for their family, the home he had promised to build.

"Mommy?"

Emma turned her head towards her daughter's voice, kneeling down to lift her up. Her skin was cool enough, but slightly damp. Her breath smelt like toothpaste and Emma smiled wryly. Abi was the only child she knew who would brush her teeth after throwing up without being told to.

"Are you okay?" Emma asked, making her way to the couch. She saw the papers spread over the couch and coffee table and couldn't help but want to know what he was working on. Paperwork and organisation had never been a skill of his.

"I'm tired." Abi murmured into her shoulder. "Don't go home, mommy. Stay here with me."

"You want me to stay in your room?"

Abi nodded and Emma sighed, looking up at Neal for permission.

The soft smile on his face made her frown at him and he shrugged, unapologetically.

"Okay. You go get into bed, I need to talk to your dad for a second, okay? Grab a bucket in case you need to be sick again."

Abi climbed off her lap, padding softly towards one of the open doors. Emma waited until she was inside to turn and face Neal.

"This doesn't mean anything." She warned him.

"Emma, I'm not going to read too much into you staying with our sick daughter." He sighed. "You want me to get you a shirt or something? You won't be able to sleep in those jeans." She ignored the way his eyes lingered on her legs.

"I guess." She agreed, tugging her boots off. "Did she eat anything while she was here?"

"No, she said you guys had already had dinner. She had a milkshake and then some hot chocolate, but so did Henry and he's fine."

Neal handed her a long, cotton vest from the pile of clothes on the counter and a pair of his boxers and she accepted them reluctantly.

This felt like a step back, she realised. Staying over in the apartment and wearing his clothes to bed were bad, bad ideas. But what other choice did she have?

"I'll stay in her room and try to be gone before Henry gets up. The last thing we need to do is confuse him."

"I know. But I think he's okay now. I mean, with Grace being back in town he seems happier. Calmer."

"I think he's up to something." Emma admitted with a sigh. "He's acting sneaky."

"He's always acting sneaky." Neal chuckled.

"Well, he is your son." Emma conceded with a small smile, making him laugh.

"Hey, you're just as sneaky as I am. Remember that time you talked the girls into stealing our clothes while we were swimming in the lake on the 4th?"

"You deserved that." Emma told him, trying not to smile. "You put red dye in my shampoo. I looked like the little mermaid for weeks and mom never believed it wasn't my own doing."

"At least it was red, Killian wanted me to put green."

"Of course he did." She rolled her eyes. "He hadn't forgiven me for not setting up with Milah at prom, remember?"

Neal laughed loudly, before covering his mouth and glancing towards the doors that led to the bedrooms.

"That was a good night."

"Yeah, I'm sure Tamara was a great date." Emma tried to speak casually but she could hear the slight bitterness in her voice and hated the knowing smirk on his face.

"I meant how the night ended, not how it began." He told her.

She shivered at the intense look on his face, the dark eyes that were trying to catch hers.

"And on that note, I'm going to bed."

She cursed as soon as the words left her mouth, trying to ignored how his smirk deepened, and how good the expression looked on his face.

"No pun intended, huh?"

"Shut up."

She left him standing there, smirking and chuckling, and followed Abi into her room.

It was dark, and she could make out the shape of her daughter under the blankets as she swapped her jeans and jumper for Neal's vest.

"Abi, honey, you still awake?"

There was no reply and Emma placed her hand on her forehead. She was still cool, and she'd changed out of the damp nightdress and into pyjamas.

Abi had a single bed, and she was sprawled across it untidily, making Emma frown. Normally her daughter slept curled up onto the right side of the bed, leaving the left free. She moved her gently, tucking her arms and legs into her body and lay down next to her with a sigh.

She shouldn't have started the conversation with Neal. Now her head was filled with memories of prom; of being so angry when she saw Tamara on Neal's arm, of the fight about Greg and punching the self satisfied smirk off her face.

"_That had to have hurt."_

_Emma scowled, rolling her eyes at Killian's knowing look before turning to face Neal._

"_Actually, it felt pretty good. Only thing that would feel better is adding your nose to the list I've broken."_

"_You're still angry at me, huh?"_

"_What's to be angry about? The fact that you've done nothing for the past month but paint me as a psychotic ex girlfriend? The fact that I've had to listen to Tamara tell everyone you dumped me for her? The fact that not one of my friends would believe me when I told them what was going on between her and that creepy new kid? The fact that I've been looking forward to prom, to spending the night with our friends and having a great time since I was thirteen, and you ruined it by showing up with her? I mean, come on. Why the hell would I be angry?"_

_His eyes were shining as she turned to glare at him again, his lips curved up in that familiar, mischievous smirk that made her belly clench at the same time as it made her fist itch._

"_If you'll excuse me, I think I see my entertainment for the remainder of the night." Killian drawled, nodding towards a dark haired girl at the far side of the room._

"_Oh hell no." Emma grabbed him by the arm. "You insisted I come to this thing, you're stuck with me to the end."_

"_This thing? Swan, you won prom queen. You got to dance with me for hours. You got to punch the stupid bitch who has been spreading lies about you for weeks... admit it, you're having a brilliant time."_

"_Maybe, but I'm angry at you so you're not getting laid."_

"_Don't be a bitch Swan. I thought that was the whole point of these American dances?"_

"_Not happening, Hook. Go away, Neal."_

_She turned to glare at him again, motioning for him to leave with her hands as Killian continued to complain behind her. _

_He was only partly serious, she knew. He wouldn't abandon her if he thought she really didn't want him to._

"_Aww, come on, baby. You know I only invited her because you won't talk to me. Look, leave Killian here to be shot down and lets go to the diner and get something to eat and talk."_

"_No. Go away."_

"_You punched my date in the nose. I think that means you at least owe me a dance."_

"_Your date was cheating on you and I called her on it, I think that means you at least owe me going away."_

He had refused and she had let him wear her down, until she ended up dancing with him, then going for food and then allowing him to lead her to the hotel room Killian had booked for himself and whichever unlucky girl he picked. He hadn't been happy about Neal pick pocketing his hotel keys, but he'd gotten over when she told him they were back together.

It wasn't their first time; they'd been fumbling towards sex since she was sixteen and it hadn't taken them long to perfect it, but it was still something special. She hadn't been speaking to him since she was suspended, and he had gone through a phase of thinking maybe that was a good thing. He had explained it all to her after, as they lay in the king sized bed and chuckled over how the night had turned out. He had been stroking her back, calloused fingers making her shiver, and telling her that he knew he was bad for her. He wasn't good enough, was always getting her into trouble. She'd told him not to be an idiot, and he'd laughed and they'd been fine.

A sharp elbow to the chest made her wince and pulled her out of her thoughts. She turned to glare slightly at Abi. She appeared to still be sleeping, her breathing slightly hitched and uneven but Emma put that down to the fact she was thrashing around slightly.

"Abi?" She murmured, resting a hand on her daughter's arm. There was no response and she tucked her arm back against her again, wrapping her own arms around her to keep her still.

She closed her eyes again, intent on getting a few hours rest before sneaking out. She was tired, her muscles were sore from sitting still in Graham's car for so long and she knew she was tense from the knowledge that Neal was so close.

If she kept her eyes closed, she could pretend they were back in time. She could pretend that Neal was outside watching a game on the TV, that he would join her in bed soon.

"Jesus." Emma hissed out in pain as Abi kicked her sharply in the shin. Another kick swiftly followed, and then Abi spread herself out again. It happened so quickly and Emma thanked her quick reflexes when she caught herself from falling out of the bed.

She stood up, her legs bare and cold in the vest and glared down at her daughter.

Abi was spread out across the bed, her face pale but serene in the dim light and Emma sighed before leaving the room self consciously.

"Your daughter is a nightmare to sleep beside." She regretted drawing Neal's attention as soon as he turned towards her, his mouth open to speak but nothing coming out as his eyes appraised her.


	6. Chapter 5

Sorry about the long wait. Settling into my new job is taking longer than I thought. I have the next few chapters written, just need to go over them a little more, but hopefully there won't be as long a wait again.

Please let me know what you think.

As always, I don't own what you recognise.

* * *

The witty remark on Neal's tongue died as he took in the sight of his wife. There was more bare skin on display than he had seen in over half a year and it made his mouth go dry. Her legs were lightly tanned, and looked so soft that he felt his fingers itch to touch them. He had visions of running his hands up and down those legs, of pulling her onto his lap and securing them against his hips. He could almost see himself running his fingers up her back and he knew he would touch nothing but flesh, it was perfectly evident that she wasn't wearing a bra.

She had let her hair loose while she was in Abi's room, and it fell around her shoulders in messy waves; if he tried, he could pretend that his fingers had been tangled in the blonde strands as they kissed, resulting in her bed head look.

And it wasn't just how sexy she looked standing there; Emma looked soft and vulnerable in a way she hadn't shown him since before the separation and it made him miss her with a sudden ferocity that took his breath away. The whole package made him ache with want.

He knew better than to comment though. One word about how much he wanted her and she would probably run a mile. He silently held out the blanket that had been resting over the back of the couch, the patchwork old and faded, and watched as she wrapped it around herself, covering the skin he'd been drooling over, and curled up onto the armchair facing him.

"How traumatized do you think Henry would be if I tried to sleep beside him?" She asked sullenly, hiding a yawn behind her hand.

"I'm not sure he'd ever forgive you." Neal chuckled. "What kind of teenage boy wants to sleep in the same bed as his mom?"

"I think it would be best if I went home, then."

"I'm not letting you walk the streets at this time." He told her firmly, finally catching her gaze and holding it. "No way, Emma."

"Neal I can't... I can't stay here." She whispered. He was silent for a few minutes, before rubbing his hand across his face and making his way to the kitchen. He used the few minutes alone to sigh and get his hormones back under control. It had been so long that the slightest flash of skin had made him feel like his teenage self again, excited after seeing a fifteen year old Emma's electric green bra strap.

He grabbed two glasses and the unopened bottle of whiskey his father had sent over yesterday.

"What if Abi wakes up and wants you again? You can sleep in the master bedroom."

She turned a glare on him and he sighed, shrugging and handing her a glass.

"Or you can sleep on the couch, it's entirely up to you."

There was silence again as he poured the whiskey, giving both of them a generous helping.

He sat back down, picking up the ordering form he'd been filling out and pretending to read it while watching her knock back her glass out of the corner of his eye.

There was something so right about her sitting there, wrapped in the old quilt and staring unseeingly at the wall as she poured herself another glass.

"This is the good stuff." She commented after a few minutes of silence. "You celebrating something?"

"What have I got to celebrate?" He snorted. "Dad sent it over with Belle yesterday. No note, no explanation. You know how he is."

Emma returned his snort with one of her own and he felt his lips curve up into a smirk at the sound. She didn't notice, just continued drinking her second glass.

"Maybe you should go easy on that." He cautioned. "I've already listened to one of my girls throwing up tonight."

She ignored his possessive words, scowling at him as she poured another glass.

"Seriously? When was the last time you saw me throw up?"

She didn't realise what she'd said, he realised when she went back to staring at the wall. She wouldn't be the first to bring it up, he knew that. It took him seconds to decide to see how far he could push her.

She wasn't drunk, he knew that. She was right when she implied that she wasn't a light weight, but three glasses of good whiskey were enough to loosen her up.

"When you were in the hospital. After... after, you just kept dry heaving. I thought you were going to vomit up the lining of your stomach."

Her shoulders had tensed as soon as he mentioned hospital, and he saw the mask slip into place but he didn't stop.

"And I was so worried, because Whale said it wasn't good for you but I just couldn't get you to stop."

"I'd just lost my baby, I was entitled to feel a little sick." She snapped.

He saw the shine in her eyes, and hated himself for pushing but he couldn't resist, not while she was just sitting there, finally listening to him.

"I know. You asked, that's all." He knew his flippant attitude would get to her and was rewarded when she turned to glare at him, a tear slipping down her face unnoticed.

"Wow, you act so casual about it. It's like you don't care at all."

Her voice was so soft and heart broken that he felt his stomach tighten in anger at himself. He moved quickly, dropping to his knees in front of her chair and taking her free hand in his, brushing his lips against the pulse point of her wrist.

"Oh, baby, you know I care. You know how many emotions I felt that night? I went from being sorry, for being late, to fucking ecstatic when you told me. I know I was angry, and I shouldn't have shouted at you but I was so happy and so worried all at once. And then in the hospital... do you know how much it hurt that you wouldn't let me near you? That you blamed me?"

"Stop it."

"We need to talk about this, Emma. We've been ignoring it for too long. You avoid being in the same room as me. When we are in the same room, you avoid looking at me. You barely speak to me. You cross the road to avoid my diner. You get your parents and Regina to pick the kids up so you don't have to see me? Do you really hate me that much?"

He kept his voice low, trying to hide the hurt. He wasn't trying to make her feel guilty, he knew he had to accept how much damage the diner had done to their relationship. But he also knew that she had to know how he felt.

"Jesus, Neal, seriously? You know I don't hate you. This whole thing would be so much easier if I did. Yeah, I cross the road to avoid this place and if I could, I'd never step foot inside. Because it's a huge reminder than when it came down to it, you chose this stupid diner over me. Over us."

"I'm sorry you think I chose the diner over you. I didn't. I just... I wanted us to have something that was ours, you know? I mean, our parents have pretty much supported us since you were pregnant with Henry. We lived in your parents house and I took whatever jobs my dad could throw my way and you were deputy sheriff. We had no savings, nothing to leave the kids if something was to happen to us. Now we have this, and it's actually doing good. I'm actually making money, able to support us."

"But it wasn't ours, Neal. It was yours." The tears were falling unchecked now and he reached a hand up to wipe one away. She shifted her head away from him and he sighed before continuing.

"It was ours, Emma. You helped me get my dad and yours to lend me the money. They trusted you in a way they'd never trust me with that amount of cash. You helped me plan. You were the... the inspiration for the whole thing. You remember when Granny used to let kids stay here at the weekend? You used to beg her to let you stay all the time, you loved this apartment and I thought getting it for you would be a good thing. And the diner, I wanted us to have that place back, the place we were so happy in high school. I wanted Henry and Abi to grow up with the same thing. There's no where else in town for people to hang out like this except Starbucks and you know how I feel about big corporations."

He made a face and she smiled slightly. He counted that as a victory before rushing on.

"And I thought about giving it up so many times. Every time something went wrong, every time I was late home or you gave me that sad, disappointed look when I was late, I thought of throwing in the towel. But I had to do this, I had to prove that I could do something for us, that I could provide something."

"I have never needed you to prove yourself to me." She whispered.

"I know. But that didn't mean I didn't want to. I can't lie, Emma. I'm so proud of the place but it's like a hollow pride, you know. Because I've got this place but I've lost you. And it isn't an even trade."

He fell silent again, not sure what else he could say, and just watched her face as emotions flickered rapidly. She was angry, and hurt and bitter and tired and tipsy and then back to angry and then she settled on resigned.

"Maybe we got married too young." She sighed. "Maybe getting back together after prom was a mistake. I don't know. Maybe the diner was just the catalyst for what would have happened eventually anyway."

"I don't buy that." He bit out. "You're the love of my life Emma. Even if you decide I'm not the love of yours."

"You can't say stuff like that." She scowled. "It's not fair. Stop trying to be romantic and loving, it's too late. Do you know how hard it was, watching you devote all your time and attention to the diner? I would try and have a conversation with you and you'd be too busy reading text messages from Ruby and Leroy. How many times did I have to try and explain to the kids why you weren't at dinner with us? Ruby is my godmother, and you've made me hate the sight of her and the sound of her name. You've turned me into an insecure, pathetic mess and all the sweet, romantic words in the world aren't going to change it now."

He was silent, resting his head against her knee. She didn't push him away but he could hear her breath catch above him and knew she was crying. He had made her cry, again. It seemed like no matter what he tried to do, he ended up hurting her.

"God, I thought a baby would help, you know? It was unexpected, unplanned, but when I found out, I thought maybe this would make you pay attention again."

He raised his head to look at her, not wanting to interrupt her now that she was talking about it. He'd spoken to Mary Margaret and David, and to Regina, over the months and they all agreed that getting Emma to talk about the baby could only be a good thing.

"And I know I should have told you earlier, but I was being spiteful. And then it was gone and I know it wasn't your fault. If anyone's to blame it's me. I should have stopped working straight away. I should have known something was wrong that night, and I didn't. How could I not know?"

She didn't fight him as he picked her up and draped her over his lap, turning her head so that she was sobbing into his neck. He kept one hand threaded through her hair and used the other to stroke her back as she cried.

They stayed that why for what felt like hours, Neal occasionally dropping soft kisses on her hair as Emma's sobs slowly subsided.

He hadn't realised she blamed herself. He didn't know how they all missed it; the guilt she had to be carrying around with her over it. If he'd known that when she'd asked for a separation, he'd have dragged her to therapy with him. He still thought it would be a good idea, even for a few sessions. If – no, when they got back together, he was going to suggest it again.

He stayed silent for a while, stroking her hair as she stopped crying, waiting for the inevitable moment when she would realise who she was leaning on and push him away.

"Emma, you have to know it wasn't your fault, baby. It wasn't anyone's fault, except for the doctor who should have caught the irregularity. And I already punched him. You can't blame yourself, you can't live with that guilt, it's not fair. Emma?"

There was no reply and he pushed her hair out of her face and sighed.

She was asleep.

He lifted her easily, making his way towards the master bedroom and pushing the door open quietly.

He lay her on the bed, taking a couple of minutes to admire her. She automatically rolled over to her side, stretching her legs across the bed and dislodging the patchwork quilt.

She looked so good there, like it was where she belonged. And he knew she wouldn't be happy about waking up there in the morning, but he found that he didn't care anymore.

He was done treading softly. Emma was his wife, and he wasn't giving her up. Not now, not ever.

With that thought, he kicked off his jeans and climbed in behind her, wrapping an arm over her waist and sighing in relief as she automatically curled up against him, her hand coming up to tangle in his vest.

Henry sat in his room, listening as the voices died down. He couldn't hear anything, just the rise and fall of his parents' voices as they talked and then the sound of his mom crying.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. He had gotten Abi to fake illness so that his mom would have no choice to come over and see the place. He hadn't expected her to end up crying.

He was tired, could feel his eyes going together but pushed himself to stay awake. After thirty minutes of silence, he tip toed out of his room.

The table had whiskey and two glasses sitting on it, and he wrinkled his nose. He hadn't thought about getting them drunk together, it would be worth considering. He knew his uncle Killian would be onboard with that plan.

The door of the master bedroom was opened a crack and he stood, holding his breath outside before pushing it open a little further and giving himself a mental high five before rushing back to get his phone from his room.

Grace would want photographic proof.

His father was curled around his mother, one arm beneath her neck and the other around her hips. He had pulled the blankets over them both, and they were even sharing a pillow.

It was reminiscent of so many mornings that he'd rushed in to wake them up and he couldn't help smiling as he switched the flash off on his phone and took a couple of pictures.

They weren't great quality but they were proof enough to show everyone.

Now he just had to wait to launch stage two.


End file.
